"Perfectionism is a dream killer, because it's just fear disguised as trying to do your best."
– Mastin Kipp
Being mediocre scares the
crap out of you.
Over the years my clients when asked about perfection often have a knee jerk reaction: “No Way!”
It’s only later on as we work that they start to see the threads of pathological perfectionism in the works.
Some wear their perfectionism badge honorably — citing how it’s gotten them so far in life (only to continue to feel anxious, stressed, and never good enough).
So what is perfectionism?
It is NOT having a strong work ethic, being a high achiever, or wanting the best for oneself. It is NOT excelling at something or having high standards.
Perfectionism is a wonky deep (and often undetected) belief that:
YOUR INHERENT WORTH IS EQUAL TO YOUR PERFORMANCE.
And performance can mean almost anything:
How much money you make.
How thin you are.
What your life place is currently (i.e-right job, partner, homeowner etc.)
How good at “Momming-it” you are.
How many friends you have.
How good at your job or school you are.
How many miles you ran this week.
How many people like you.
How good you are at yoga or meditation.
The list goes on and on.
Perfectionism can show up as:
Not being able to try something new.
Fearing fun activities-like a mountain bike ride or a ski run-because you’re not “as good as…”
Feeling like a fraud, an imposter.
Needing approval from others.
Social Media fallout: FOMO, or Over-posting/sharing.
Training too hard, too much, too often.
Not being able to relax or slow down.
Feeling like you just can’t ever get ahead.
Fearing Food, or eating too much (too little) or the wrong kind of food.
A deep feeling of being “A bad girl/boy” or “good girl/boy”
Paralysis by analysis (can’t make a decision)
Perfectionism left alone leads to a
life of misery
When we begin to see that we are all perfectly imperfect and that our worth has little to do with any activity or role — we start to feel FREEDOM, CREATIVITY, HAPPINESS.
We often need help detecting and working with our own ingrained beliefs.
Most of us hold some type of perfectionist thinking that keeps us from living an entirely HAPPY LIFE.
If you feel like this resonates with you and this seems like what you may be struggling with, please give me a call and let’s set up free consultation.